Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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