24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
