i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
