Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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