We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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