I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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