One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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