we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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