If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize