i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
