He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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