it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
