why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
