I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize