Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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