i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
