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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

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• (212): View more from New York

  we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?

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• (925): View more from California

  I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP

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• (607): View more from New York

  Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  Yup I waved.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.

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• (631): View more from New York

  i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise

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