The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just gift wrapped bread.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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