I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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