she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
