So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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