Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Rumble strips road head = magical
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
