apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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