If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
