Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
