he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
