Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize