She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
