If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
