Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
