eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
