he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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