i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
