i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You pole danced in your parka.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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