At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
