This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
