I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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