new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
tell me about the eggs
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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