if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
40s are totally the cure
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
