I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
