so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
