If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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