So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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