the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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