waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Did you just see the Batmobile???
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
