Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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