went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize