There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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