his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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