It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
