you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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