you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
