It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
