Barsexuality is the new black.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
