a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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