No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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