is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
