We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
