yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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