I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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